Fear No More!

My little family and I have gone on a bit of a life adventure. After a couple of years of feeling like maybe it was time for us to pull our roots and land someplace other than the comfort of Colorado, we decided to do it. Oceanside Ca became our destination. Why? I am not sure. We knew that we wanted someplace warmer in the winter and not so miserable in the summer. But more than that it just felt right for us. My sister just moved here and I have always wanted to be closer to her and her family. I want my boys to grow up knowing their cousins.

So here we are. We have sold most of our things, and moved into an apartment (with only one bathroom) And we are living the California Dream.

The one thing this whole move has brought to surface is the fact that I live in fear everyday. In Colorado I was able to "avoid" the things I was afraid of. One of the things I fear is water. No not drinking it. But large bodies of water freak me out. I can lay in bed for hours imagining all the ways my boys can be swept out to sea. Or fall off the cliff into the waves below. Or at the pool, slipping on a slippery spot and cracking their little heads on the side of the pool.....the list goes on and on and just saying them makes my chest tighten and tears start to form in my eyes. My conclusion is I am completely mental!

I am making a choice this morning, I am no longer going to be governed by my fear. (you should hear my inner dialog going nuts right now, I think it is not happy about giving up this continuous stressing over what "might" happen)(told you I was mental) I have been put in so many situations in the last week that have made me face these ugly faced fears and guess what?! At the beach my kids were not swept away by a rouge riptide. We went to the cliffs and tide pools in La Jolla and neither of them fell to their deaths. We go to the pool almost everyday and they have yet to crack open those beautiful little heads.

Yes, they need to be kept an I on. Because left to their own devices. They would kill themselves. But are they going to learn how to be functioning members of society if I don't let them do anything? We all learn by doing and I need to just tell my fear to sod off, because it is no longer just affecting me, I am going to start giving that fear to my kids.

So fear this is what I have to say to you. BUGGER OFF! I have a God that will take care of me and my boys. We will live life, and live it abundantly. You have no power here any longer. I am taking back my thoughts. You will no longer keep me up at night or cause these awful wrinkles you are putting on my forehead.

I don't know why but this song makes me just feel better about life. It makes me want to dance...So here you go. (sorry about the creepy preview before hand)